How Scammers Will Ask For Money

how scammers will ask you for money

When you meet someone online, especially those claiming to be in the military, you have to be careful to guard your heart as well as your wallet.

As these scammers seek to establish a relationship with you, they will use our service members’ identity to gain your trust.

Usually, within a matter of even a few days, they will make the first ask for something of monetary value.

Typically, they will begin with an item of smaller value.

Even though most will ask very early on in the “relationship,” it doesn’t always happen that way. 

The scammer is likely trying to manage multiple scams at once, so it could take longer in some instances for the first ask to occur.

Do not think you’re in the clear if he hasn’t asked for anything yet, regardless if you’ve been talking for weeks or even months. 

The Easy Ask: iTunes Cards

An iTunes card is a typical first ask. It’s relatively inexpensive and also available almost anywhere. 

In most cases, they don’t want the physical card; instead, they want you to send them the code on the back of the card that will allow them to access the card’s value.

If they can get you to agree to this smaller monetary amount, they know they have a warm lead.

The following request may be additional iTunes cards (or other gift cards), or they may go in for the more significant dollar amount.

Phones/Mobile Plan

Asking for a phone is another early ask. This could be in the form of asking for a phone card or even asking you to pay for a phone and/or phone plan so they will be able to chat with you.

Soldiers don’t need a phone card or phone to chat with you when they are overseas. They can go to the MWR area where they are and use the phone for free to call anywhere and anyone they need to call.

Many bases now have wifi available, allowing them to call, chat, text, and video conference through various avenues.

Don’t let them tell you that they are in a remote area and don’t have access to either. At a minimum, they will have satellite phones with them. 

My husband deployed four times with special operations, and we never paid for a single phone call.

If they tell you it’s a security risk for them to be able to call you through any of the traditional methods, then why wouldn’t it be the same through the avenue they’re attempting to get you to go through instead?

There is nothing secure about Facebook messenger, hangouts, Whatsapp, dating apps, etc., yet they’re using those platforms to communicate with you. Please don’t fall for it.

Fees for Forms

In some cases, they will propose marriage and fill you with lies about the fairytale life you’ll live once he returns home from the deployment. 

However, to be engaged, he will tell you to complete forms to be sent to his commander.

They will sometimes refer to this as a fiancée form.

They may also tell you that you need to complete a form so he can add you to his account, specify you as his next of kin, or entitle you to his pay and/or benefits.

There are no forms for any of this that would be sent from overseas or sent back to his commander. The military doesn’t even acknowledge you until you’re married. 

They don’t care who the soldier is dating or engaged to. There is no form to become engaged, or so he can speak with you.

And even if there were such a form, there wouldn’t be a fee associated with it. And it certainly wouldn’t be something his commander is discussing with you.

Money for His Flight

He will tell you that he is returning from deployment soon and needs you to pay for his return flight home so the two of you can be together.

This request may also come in the form of an option he has to return early from deployment or to retire early, but he has to pay a fee to do it. Along with that, he also needs his flight covered.

He may tell you his account is locked, or he doesn’t have access to it overseas.

He may promise that as soon as you’re together, he will pay you back for the flight. He needs you to help him pay for it now.

He may even tell you he has new deployment orders, and he will be away even longer than planned unless you’re able to pay for this flight so he can leave early.

This typically involves a sob story about going to a remote or dangerous location.

He will tell you how he’s scared and doesn’t think he will make it back if he has to go because of all of the things happening in that location.

All lies.

Sending You Money, Gifts, or Packages

Believe it or not, the scam will sometimes involve him sending you money (or other goods).

Or at least that’s what he would like for you to believe. He is having someone else send money to you as a passthrough.

One of the most common scenarios is him telling you some other person (typically a female relative) will send you money for you to send onto him.

He will have wild excuses for why this needs to happen in this way.

In actuality, that female relative is another victim of the scam who believes they are sending the money to a female relative who can then get the money to him.

This is money laundering. And by accepting what is essentially stolen funds and passing it along to him (or through other “agents”), you have just committed a crime.

On top of that, it also became much harder to trace the money as it’s passing through multiple people’s hands.

In other cases, he may say he is sending you money. He may send you a check to deposit and then tell you to send the money to him.

He will be very adamant about you sending the money as soon as you receive the check.

The reason for this is the check is going to bounce. It will generally take a few days for it to bounce back to the bank.

In the meantime, you’ve sent the money to him, the check bounces, and you’re now out your own money. Plus, you will be hit with fees from your bank.

In yet another scenario, he will ask for your bank account or credit card account information to send funds to you (or to have someone send it to you on his behalf supposedly). 

I’ve spoken to people who have provided full access to their bank account or credit card to receive these funds. 

The funds never arrive though he will continue to tell you that you need to send additional money to pay for processing fees, pay for the courier, or whatever other crazy fees they can imagine. 

And you’ve now given a criminal full access to your money.

When he uses that money for criminal activities (money he was given access to with your permission), you’re now involved in the crime. 

Bottom Line: A Real Soldier Won’t Ask You To Send Money

These are just a few of the ways these scammers may ask for money throughout a relationship. Know that a real soldier will NEVER ask you for money.

A real soldier will also never have to use an agent, a courier, Western Union, or any other service type. He won’t need to route money through a relative, friend, or any other person.

He won’t need to send you money or packages for safekeeping. He wasn’t given anything as a “reward” for a successful mission he needs to get out of the country.

He will also not be routing money through another country. For instance, he won’t tell you to send money to Nigeria when he’s in Afghanistan.

He won’t tell you to send money at all.

Soldiers have access to their bank accounts. They have the supplies they need. They have all the food they need and want.

There is NO reason to send money in any shape or form (actual cash, care packages, gift cards, or any other form of anything that has monetary value).

If You’ve Fallen Victim Before, Watch Out For More

If you’ve already sent money, you need to know that you have been added to the “suckers list.” 

I know that’s a harsh name, but this is not a name I made up – it’s what the scammers call it. This is the list they have of people who have sent money.

They sell this list to others, as someone who sent money is more likely to send it again.

You will likely have other scammers reach out to you. And they will all have the same purposes – to get money from you.

Guard your heart and your wallet. Never, for any reason whatsoever, send money to someone you met online.

how scammer will ask you for money

15 thoughts on “How Scammers Will Ask For Money”

  1. Hi there
    I am talking to someone who says he is in the army, is a little full on but has asked for no money and has made it clear its not a scam and he doesn’t need my money. I was clear form the start if this is a scam I will catch you. I read what you said about gut instinct , but if this guy is using a another solders photos then it needs to be stop and the person punished.I am happy to send phones, he is also on Facebook name army special operations command. if is legit I hope i don’t get him in trouble if he is not meant to contact, but i don’t think this is the case. .

  2. I have just had a scammer contact me through Quora. It came totally out of the blue and i really wasnt expecting this through this sort of site. He as always was very charming and considerate of my feelings and welfare! ha ha.
    we had been talking daily and quite a lot considering he is an army Major and should be too busy to chat. After about a week he tried to convince me to talk to him via Telegram instead but i didnt do this. We continued to chat regularly and he confessed his “love” for me. Really!!! He was going to retire from the military in 2 months time and of course he wated me to be with him!!!
    He said he had a daughter who was 21 and of course his wife had died 17 years ago! Sob story unfolds…..
    Anyway, the latest is that his daughters birthday is in 1 weeks time. Guess what! He asks me if i wanted to send her a gift,,,,,he asks me to buy her an IPhone (latest model). I was very upset and then i knew for sure he was a scammer! I declined saying that i was not prepared to do that as they cost a lot of money and that my husband would disaprove of me spending that amount of money online. He then said he didnt expect us to have a joint bank account, Why?? He got quite upset and asked me if i could send a small item to his daughter instead and i said yes. He asked me to contact him when i was ready to pay for this and he would provide her address. He then said what about if he was seriously ill and had no one to turn to financially! I replied that he was perfectly capable of looking after himself financially as he claimed to be wealthy with 3 houses, a ferarri and a jeep. Not to mention a couple of bank accounts, He lives in California too. Amazingly poor person. I confronted him again and again with this and then he disappeared and closed his Quora account.

  3. Angelina Steward

    About a year ago I joined Tik Tok and only posted a few pictures on my profile, nothing sexy or anything either, just some filtered Snapchat pics. Well, within I would say a months’ time I had over 5000 followers, mostly men. Any of the ones I would follow back would always send messages to try to talk to me. I never answered any of them because I was in a relationship. Fast forward to about a week ago, I was no longer in the relationship for almost a month at this point and this guy started following me and I started to follow him back, well low and behold, I got a message saying Hi, so since I was no longer with anyone, I decided to say Hi back. On his Tik Tok profile he had several little videos, and he is very cute and has an amazing body, so I figured, what the heck let’s see where it goes. So, we started talking and within a couple of hours he wanted to switch from the Tik Tok messaging to either WhatsApp or Google chat. I hadn’t used WhatsApp in years, and I would have to give him my phone number and I wasn’t ready for that since I was still healing from the recent break up. So, I opted for the Google Chat and downloaded it the next day and we started chatting again. It started out as normal conversation, you know, typical stuff about job, family, relationship status, age. Now this is where is gets interesting, I am 60, this guy is 38 and says age is just a number, ok. My recent relationship was with a 34 year old, I had known him for a long time and we had a crazy 9 months together, but he had 3 young children and he decided he wanted to move to be closer to them besides the fact that his divorce from the kids mother never got filed and I think he wanted to see if the marriage could work for the sake of the kids and honestly I couldn’t blame him. I knew it was only a matter of time anyway that he would move on, at least the kids have their dad back, who am I to stand in the way? So, back to the new guy. He’s 38, originally from Mexico, lives in Colorado but he is currently on a peacekeeping mission in Syria. He said he was an only child in a military family, father was military man but died in a plane crash and his mom died not long after from heart disease and he had no other family that wanted to take care of him, so he joined the Army. By the third day of chatting, he asked if I had a pet name that he could call me, and gave me some to choose from, one of which was Angel, since it was part of my name, I didn’t see any harm in it. By the end of the third night of chatting he said I love you. I did not acknowledge it. The next day he told me about all his military experience which was quite impressive. At that point he is calling me babe, I do not acknowledge that either, or did I say it back. Now, on the fifth day of chatting he mentioned that he had not had anything to eat since the night before and that the camp had not received food supply yet which I thought was strange. Now, a little alarm is going off inside my head, how could this be? He then proceeded to tell me that he has feelings for me, and he loves me and wants me to be his woman. Now, the big alarms are going off!! I started to research on the internet and came across all kinds of things that make me wonder if this guy is who he actually says he is. I think one of the things mentioned was asking for their military email. Today he said he was out on patrol at the border of Syria and Iraq where they got attacked. He was injured, sent me a pic and everything, looks bad but don’t think it is that serious, but he did say that his best friend and 3 other soldiers were killed. He said he really wants to come home but can’t until the mission is over. He asked how I was, told him I was ok after not feeling well the night before. He said he wanted to take care of me but couldn’t access his bank account. The alarms are going off again. I told him we barely know each other and that I would never accept his money. Now, after everything I’ve read, I am very skeptical. The one thing he has not done is ask me for money, I have none to give anyway. I did ask him today if I could write him a letter via mail or email and that I would need the APO address or his military email address, but he said we are here on this chat, and I didn’t need to send him a letter. I said, ok, your choice. I will continue talking to him to be nice, but I will not proclaim love because I just can’t love someone who I have never met in person. I told him that too. I had to be honest. We shall see what happens from here. Sorry for the length of this post, it felt good to get it out. Let me know your thoughts. Thanks.

  4. OMG all this is so true as I’ve been scammed by Kershaw. I feel so stupid but was sucked in all the time. They know how to play the game so well. All the lies are unbelievable

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